5cfba6f0 No.3709320[Reply]
I think i'm literally dying from loneliness.
That is the conclusion that i have to make. I'm about to turn 40 and if something isn't suddenly going to change my life, it's not going to get any better. I've had chronic fatigue syndrome and depression for about 20 years, but it's really gotten bad in the last few years, and while even those things were usually intermittent, now they seem not to be.
My skin is crumbling, i have an increasing amount of food intolerances which leave me with almost nothing left that i'm able to eat, which also has a direct effect of my physical and mental state, and i've lost most of the strength and much flexibility of my hands, leaving me unable to play any musical instruments or do anything that requires fine motorics or stamina.
I'm increasingly convinced that my life circumstances are the reason for much of my health problems, and if something miraculous doesn't happen to my life real soon, i might eventually die from sheer misery, or end up with some ailment that cripples me for the rest of my life.
I know that every time there is something that looks promising, not even necessarily for me, but the way the world is going, it actually makes me physically better, to the point that many of my ailments are almost gone temporarily, then as it turns out to be nothing, it's back again.
There's really no clear ideas that are relevant to me. I have been trying everything there is, over and over and it's never led to anything. I have still never met one single furry in real life, nor do i even know of many in my country - they all seem to be rich hipster fursuiters with no concern for the overall community, and absolutely nothing in common with me. And i don't really have many close friends online in the rest of the world either, anymore, much because of the ways Internet culture and furry culture has changed from the days of forums, personal websites, IRC and desktop messengers.
With my other interests, it's equally hopeless - there simply isn't anybody here who cares about the things that i do, nor are there enough people online for it to be of any use. I don't think i can really relate to people who aren't furries, they have no idea about the issues, so what is there to do?
31 posts and 18 image replies omitted. Click reply to view. e793d1a0 No.3710933
Discord is for trannies
44ebe107 No.3710960
>>3710925FYI Shurn got kicked a while back. Basically you were an autistic asshole that didn't want to socialize, just take potshots at other users at random. You are the most unlikeable faggot in this entire community besides 3B, and you come whine here because you have zero social awareness whatsoever. Good luck with your life. Fuck you.
f1ae9aed No.3710987
>>3710960Who are you? I bet you don't even go there yourself.
Anyway, you can all join my Discord server instead:
https://discord.gg/fT5jHZcCRp e80f0861 No.3720914
OP here. I often think about people i used to know online, especially when i don't have anyone currently to talk to, which is most of the time nowadays. I try not to make that much of it, and even deliberately swear not to look up what people i used to know IRL do nowadays - if they're not in touch with me, they're gone as far as i'm concerned - but it's a different thing with people online who just disappeared.
There was one particular furry i remember from the mid-00s, he was just the perfect example of the kind i'd need in my life nowadays. Not only was he one of the few i knew with some very specific preferences that few others are okay with, he was so much fun to talk to, and it bugged me that he just disappeared one day, and i though i never heard of him again. A while ago i had searched for his old names and found nothing, even asked someone on Furaffinity who had mentioned him and who didn't know anything either.
Then it occured to me that shortly before he disappeared, he changed to another name, and searching for that one i found another name that i had forgot, but remembered when i saw it, and he was actually still active and posting on Twitter under that name.
Then i remembered the whole story.
He never actually disappeared. He just changed name, interests and personality completely, and i stopped talking to him because we had nothing in common anymore. It's like, over less than a month he just abandoned his old persona and became a boring, bitter Furaffinity-blogging, occasionally convention-going mainstream furry with the most annoying and mundane kinks, that he was still posting about now, 15 years later.
And when i saw that, i remembered it. It's just that i had forgotten THAT part, and only remember him as he was when he was a part of "my community" and actually fun to talk to.
Then it stroke me how many others in my past who did the same thing. There were some who legit just disappeared, including one who seemed to wipe almost any trace online of him ever existing despite running several forums and being one of the most visible people in Y2K Sonic fandom, there's barely a single mention of him anywhere left on the web. But there were many more who i just stopped talking to because on a whim, they completely changed and i had nothing in common with them anymore.
e80f0861 No.3720916
And then there's the real question that's remaining - if this is somehow natural to furry and fandom communities, why does it happen with them but not with me? Why am i the one left whining 25 years later that the communities i grew up with don't exist anymore, and that things aren't like they used to be? Why do they somehow move on, and not me?
I've long felt that there's something about me that's very rare, that i just lack the personal traits that turn someone into "an adult" in the eyes of today's society. I just never bought into it, and it keeps me from understanding the priorities and concerns of everyone else, especially as they grow older.
I think i can only ever get along with teens, even if they keep breaking my heart. Not that i do get along, but at least i feel that i get something out of it, unlike talking to today's fake "adults", who are now mostly younger than me, and it just makes me feel like i'm looking into a doll's house through a glass wall. I got no place in today's furry community, i miss when it was grassroots-run, a genuinely international and online community, and i hate what Furaffinity and the fucking conventions did to it.
I guess i'm just someone who'll never grow old, and it's not fun at all, if it sounds like it might be.
c330a652 No.3720938
tl::dr
