Can you guess who the son and who the father are? We are the sons, and the father is God. Once that parable "sinks in", you will truly begin to understand and also feel, how God feels about His children.
If you go on this trip without knowing that there's someone waiting for you to return, and that it would be a wonderful cause for celebration to Him, then all you'll have are satan and his children's words and actions ringing inside your skull. satan and his many children temporarily are the bosses of this world, because they're allowed to be by God.
Can you guess why God would allow satan and his children to run amok on the world that God had created? Spoiler: it's not because God is a "mean/bad guy" (which is actually what satan and his children want people to believe).
I'd like to chat with you on Tox before you go on that trip, if you don't mind. Unplugging from any (toxic) form of escapism can lead to bad withdrawal symptoms. I've come to know of many men who've "unplugged" and were never heard from again, and know the feeling myself, despite "merely" being a dog.
Tox ID:
828F6110B861C241075B74331470DC827403648E3A2C17B7E22CC62BD81D2C766CE86BD1C866
Luke 15:20
"And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him."
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/parable-of-the-prodigal-son_bible/